And I Never Told Him
by NoirAnge
Summary: Heero has a bad feeling about Duo's mission, and he's proven right when things go horribly wrong.


Originally published 4-25-2001 on DHML.

 **Title** : And I Never Told Him  
 **Author** : NoirAnge  
 **Pairings** : 2+1  
 **Rating** : PG-13  
 **Warnings** : shounen ai, angst, canon-typical violence, POV, character death  
 **Spoilers** : none  
 **Notes** : this is from Duo's POV, although there is a *small* section that switches to third person. it goes immediately back to Duo's POV though. i think you guys'll be able to figure it out

/blah/ indicates thoughts

* * *

"Another mission?" Heero queried as I got up from in front of my laptop. I nodded.

"Easy one this time. Get in, get the info, bug the system, get out. Piece of cake." I went over to my dresser and pulled out my favorite gun. Loading it and attaching the silencer, I set it on the bed and began to change into my mission clothes: a tight fitting, black outfit. Went nicely with shadows and was perfect for infiltration. Didn't rustle, so I could move around silently. Not too expensive either.

I went back over to the dresser and dug through one of the drawers, finally retrieving a little magnetic strip. Very handy for opening up locked doors. Tucking it into my braid, I picked up my gun and shoved it into my waist band.

"Well, I'm outta here. Should be back by tomorrow night," I said as I headed for the door.

"You're only taking one gun? Aren't you taking any extra ammo?" Heero asked.

"Naw. I never take more than this. I'll be fine, Heero," I replied.

He looked a little troubled by this statement. "Just be careful, Duo, okay? I have... a bad feeling about this mission."

I was tempted to raise an eyebrow to that, but suppressed the urge and smiled instead. "Of course, Heero. See yah on the flip side." I gave him a wave and walked out the door. Climbing into the jeep, I thought about Heero's last statement. Although it might not seem strange to somebody else, Heero just didn't say things like that. Maybe he really did care, after all. It was worth hoping for.

* * *

Crouching, I looked around the corner. No guards, good... as pathetically guarded as this place was, I was glad for it. It certainly made my life easier. I scurried down the hall, silent as can be, checking doors and windows. I didn't think I was far enough in, but it was better to be sure. The main computer was here somewhere, and all I had to do was just what I had told Heero: get some information and upload a virus, which would effectively delete any remaining info and leave the computers all but useless.

Checking around another corner, I saw some guards coming toward me as well as two more guarding a door at the end of the corridor. Looking over my shoulder to make sure this hallway was still clear, I retreated into a doorway to let the guards pass. As their talking receded, I crept back over to the corner, debating with myself just how to take out the two remaining guards.

It was too far for me to take them out hand to hand, they'd shoot me before I got there. That meant I'd have to shoot them, which, since I only had one gun full of bullets, was risky. The reason I didn't carry more on my person was because they had the tendency to clink together, and noise was bad. I preferred hand to hand combat when possible, but it looked like I didn't have much a choice. I readied myself for a mad dash to the door after shooting them down.

Swinging around the corner, I shot them both in quick succession, hurrying towards the preciously guarded door as they crumpled to the floor. There was no window into the room, so the only way to tell if this was indeed the place I was looking for was to go in. I tried the handle, but it was locked, so I pulled the little magnetic strip out from my hair, sliding it up and down in the crack until I heard a soft, metallic click. Replacing the magnet, I cautiously opened the door and peeked inside.

The room was full of computers, and there was only one person that I could see, sitting in front of a screen typing away. I sneaked up quietly behind him, then put a hand quickly over his mouth as I gave him the "sleeper hold." He slumped over and I pushed him off the chair to see if this computer was the right one. Boy was I in luck. Silently thanking whatever was out there ensuring my success so far, I inserted a disk and began to copy files onto it. Copy, copy, copy... there, done. Ejecting the disk, I replaced it with the one containing the virus. Uploading it as quickly as I could, I got the disk out and made a hasty retreat back the way I'd come.

I was close to being out of the base when I heard somebody shout behind me. "Damn..." I hightailed it down a side corridor and took a couple more turns, making sure I knew where I was each time, but I could hear soldiers still coming behind me. Looking ahead to see a dead end, I turned around and brought my gun up, ready. Only one chance left now...

They swung around the corner and I opened fire. There were five of them and I needed to make my ammo count. One, two, three down. I heard a gunshot, not my own, and automatically rolled to the side, but the bullet caught me in my left leg. Biting back a yelp, I shot the remaining two soldiers and made a dash down to the other end of the hallway, limping the whole way. I couldn't go back the way I'd come, there were sure to be more guards that way.

Looking down, I noticed the bullet wound in my leg was beginning to bleed badly. Lacking anything better to use, I ripped off my shirt to staunch the blood flow. Although it wasn't a good thing that the bullet had lodged in my leg instead of coming out, at least this way there wasn't as much blood. Blood loss was bad on principle, but guards could also follow a trail and I couldn't afford to be caught now.

I cursed as the alarm started to go off. This was not good. Not good at all. I had to get out of here, and fast, or I would soon become a dead man. And my leg was really starting to hurt. As I limped my way, fast as I could, towards the exit, I noticed a hanger off to the left. As I looked in, I saw rows of Leos being prepped for battle. So, somebody was attacking the base. The alarm wasn't for me. Small comfort, but it presented a new opportunity for escape. Getting away from the base on foot would be nigh impossible, but if I had a suit...

Slipping into the hangar by way of my handy magnetic strip, I looked around to see a soldier readying to strap up close by. It was now or never, so I made my way over to the guy. He looked up in surprise, but I socked him in the stomach before he had a chance to yell. He doubled over with a grunt and, shoving my bloody shirt in his mouth to keep him quiet, I punched him in the head. Hard. Sure, it wasn't the prettiest way to take a man down, but he was out cold, so it didn't really matter. A kick may have been better, but that was somewhat beyond my ability at that point.

The other Leos were starting up their engines and readying for battle. I heard a shout behind me, barely registering as a "Hey, that's him!" and I turned as the sound of a gun rang all too clearly through the hanger. /oh, shit../ I barely had time to complete the thought before my chest exploded with pain. Clutching at the wound, I staggered and almost fell. I'll never be sure how, but I somehow managed to climb into the vacant Leo and start it up.

The last Leos were just leaving the hanger as I started after them as best I could using only one hand. The other was clutching the wound in my chest. The guy who shot me had had lousy aim and it had hit me far on the right side, but judging by the trouble I was having breathing, it had nicked a lung. While not immediately fatal, I knew with deadly certainty that I could not last the day out. That knowledge wasn't going to stop me, though. There was no way in hell I was gonna give up that easily on life.

/Who would have thought it would be so short. I knew... I knew the danger, but still, I never thought.../ Even if today was my last day, there was still one last thing I had to do. One last person I had to see, and one last thing I had to say. And I was gonna do my damndest to get that done. Death could not take that away from me.

* * *

Heero watched as the Leos filed out to defend the base. He was a little surprised by the number of them, but it shouldn't be a problem. Prepping himself for battle, he readied his beam saber and awaited the onslaught of the coming Leos. After he got them out of the way, all he had to do was destroy the base and he as done. By the time he got back, Duo would be home. He wondered how the other pilot's mission was going and a knot of anxiety developed in his stomach. He didn't know why, but it seemed like something was about to go terribly wrong.

As he cut through Leo after Leo, he noticed a suit flying clumsily away from the base. Finishing the rest of the defenders off, he flew after the lone Leo. His mission was to destroy everything, and he wasn't about to let this guy escape.

* * *

When I made it out of the hanger to see Heero attacking the base, I realized that somebody had made a terrible mistake. He was not supposed to be here, this was my mission. There was no possible way that he knew I was here, I hadn't told him. When Wing started coming towards me, I realized with dread that he was intent on killing me. Frantically, I tried to open up a com link with him. There was no way that he could guess it was me.

He was upon me before I could open the link and, ignoring the pain lancing though my chest and leg, I swung the Leo around to face him. Bringing up the shield to block his beam saber, my suit was forced backwards several yards. I continued to block as best I could, but Heero had way too much of an advantage. The attacks kept coming, and I just couldn't keep up with them.

I had managed to keep him from cutting me in half thus far, but it might not have made the difference. The saber came down on the already heavily damaged Leo and, though it would have been sliced in half if the shield hadn't been there to block the blow, it toppled over on the ground. I obviously couldn't defend myself any longer, so I did the last thing I could do. I half jumped, half tumbled out of the cockpit and onto the ground, hoping to go that he wouldn't kill me.

* * *

Heero was surprised at how good of a fight the Leo was putting up, but he knew it didn't have a chance. As the suit fell over, he brought his saber up to deliver the final blow, and then saw a small figure tumble out of the cockpit. His expression changed from triumphant to horror-stricken as his eyes caught the braid attached to the boy. /Duo... oh god, Duo, what have I done?!/ Immediately stopping the saber's swing, Heero opened the hatch and jumped to the ground, heedless of the long drop.

* * *

I rolled over onto my back, coughing. I could taste blood in my mouth, and I had broken a leg and a wrist in the fall. No telling what other injuries my body had sustained. Breathing was getting harder by the second and my chest was hurting, so bad...

/Thank you, thank you god I'm alive. I still have time../ I opened my eyes to see Heero running over to me. He was crying, I could tell, and he dropped down beside me, taking me into a fierce hug.

"Duo, Duo, oh my god, what happened? Oh my god, Duo.." Heero was hysterical. He shook me as he demanded to know what had gone wrong.

"Heero.." I coughed. "Stop..I can't..." I started coughing again, spitting out blood. This seemed to snap him out of it, and he laid me back down, tears streaming from his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Duo. I can't believe...my god, I'm sorry..."

"Shh, Heero...I need..I have..to...tell you..." Another fit of coughing. I was barely getting enough breath, but I had to tell him. I couldn't leave him without saying...

"I.. I..." The blood gurgled in my throat and my words escaped me. I took one last, sickeningly short breath, and then my head lolled to the side. His eyes, they were filled with so much anguish and pain, overflowing with tears. He was shaking his head in denial of my death, and I could see, right there, bright as day, I could see. I had never been sure, but now it was painfully obvious. He loved me.

"Duo, Duo, you can't leave me. You weren't supposed to die.. oh god, what have I done? What have I done?!" Heero was yelling by the end of this, his voice raw with grief. "I love you..." he whispered, eyes closed. He knew I couldn't hear him. Or at least, that's what he believed.

I could have cried at the irony of it all, if I had been able to. But worldly things such as that were no longer possible for me. I hovered there, by my bloody and broken body, him beside it. It broke my heart to see him like that. He didn't know. How could he? I tried to tell him. I tried my hardest, but I was dead before I could form the words. I said that death could not take that from me, but as all other things in my life, it had. He loved me, and he would never know that I loved him too.

~owari


End file.
